Money is My Carbohydrate!

I sit and watch Biggest Loser on Tuesdays....I know, I have exposed a nerdy fact. I like it for lots of little reasons. I enjoy observing human behavior for one. I also can't help but love the fact that they hit on the concept that being fat is not the problem, it is merely a byproduct of a deeper issue. I like to try and predict what that person's underlying issue is. My mind is always trying to figure people out...I like to know why people are the way they are. What in their past has made them like they are. Plus when these people go home, what will be their temptation? Will they always have to check themselves and be aware of their limitations (like an alcoholic must abstain totally from any alcohol)? The show is based on a byproduct of so many individual issues. I believe I have my own byproduct...trouble with money.

I have been working diligently since the first of the year to gain control of my money. I define control as the ability to know where it is going at all times, and to be able to say "no" to myself when I want something, I have the money, but it is not a necessary item at this time. I want to be able to plan appropriately for things. I want to save for things. I want to have a budget for home improvements, vacations, gifts, misc. items. But all of this is only a pipe dream until I figure out why this is so hard for me. Why am I disorganized (meaning in the way they are handled, not the timely manner in which I pay them) with my bills? Why don't I want to save more? When I know we are getting a lump sum of money, why do I immediately start thinking of things I want to buy? Why do I feel I need so many things in the first place? I get so angry with myself! Why can't I be content?

So this is where my money journey is taking me. I am on a self exploration to discover why I am not content. I know that I am blessed and I hope that through prayer and self reflection I will have the ability to discover the real issue. Because much like the contestants on BL have to do, I need to discover what got me into these bad habits while I learn what good habits I need to put in their place. I may not overeat, but I overspend. I overlook spending like they overlook calorie intake.

I am getting on the right track though. I am being frank and honest with anyone who reads this and that will keep me motivated to find the crux of the problem. Just like the brave souls who step on a scale every week (wearing less than I would in public), I am bearing my financial soul in hopes of truly changing who I am forever. I pray that God opens my eyes to my shortcomings and allows wise council to help lead me to a path of godly financial decisions.

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much" Luke 16:10 ISV